Risks of growing up digital

Published: Wednesday, December 5, 2018

By KIM HORTON
Times-News Columnist

Adults who use social media can certainly relate to the strong pull of digital addiction. Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat are such an integral part of many people’s lives that cutting the connections is unthinkable for adults.

The same goes for our children. Cutting or just limiting teen and kid screen time can be an even bigger struggle.

But just because social media easily captures our attention doesn’t mean it’s always good for our well-being. The social part of media has its benefits, but only when used within certain boundaries. It’s imperative that we ask ourselves some hard questions about its influence.

Could there be a link between time spent on social media and depression and loneliness? And if so, what about the effect on children and teens who are more susceptible to social pressures? What about the other risks—cyberbullying and exposure to sexual content?

The risk for increased anxiety and depression in children and teens is a valid concern. A recent study by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania seemed to indicate for the first time a causal link between time spent on social media and depression and loneliness. The research found that those with moderate clinical depression who limited their social media use finished the study with very mild symptoms.

Whether depression comes from social comparison or FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) or both, the outcome is an unhealthy mix of interactions among peers. People tend to share only the best moments of their lives and only the best photos, and this sets up unrealistic expectations about what a normal life entails and what a normal body image should be. This leads to depressed adults and teens who think their own lives don’t look so good anymore.

The other side of the story is that social media can be a lifeline to some kind of community when a teen or child feels alone or depressed or different or bullied. The internet has made it possible to find others who feel, think, look or act like us because of similar experiences. Worldwide friends are the new norm.

A special concern is cyberbullying. This is simply bullying that takes place over digital devices. A bully sends, posts or shares negative, harmful, false or mean content about someone else. It may even include personal or private information causing the victim embarrassment or humiliation. It can be difficult for the victim to find relief because cyberbullying is immediate and continuous. It’s also hard for parents and teachers to know it is taking place.

Stopbullying.gov lists some of the warning signs of cyberbullying:

• Noticeable increases or decreases in device use, including texting.
• A child exhibits emotional responses (laughter, anger, upset) to what is happening on their device.
• A child hides their screen or device when others are near and avoids discussion about what they are doing on their device.
• Social media accounts are shut down or new ones appear.
• A child starts to avoid social situations, even those that were enjoyed in the past.
• A child becomes withdrawn or depressed or loses interest in people and activities.

If you suspect that cyberbullying is happening to your child or that your child is the cyberbully, netsmartz.org/Cyberbullying or stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/prevention/index.html offer resources to help. Adults should support the child being bullied, address the bullying behavior of a participant and show children that cyberbullying is taken seriously.

Another risk to be aware of is how easily smartphones allow children to view pornography. Not only are they viewing it, but children are creating what is known as sexting. This is when children send or post sexual text messages or explicit images of themselves.

Discussing sexting with your children may not be the most comfortable conversation, but netsmartz.org/Sexting lists some questions to get it started such as:

• Has anyone ever asked or pressured you to sext?
• What could happen to you if you send or forward a naked picture?
• What are some ways a private photo sent to one person could be seen by others?

A platform’s privacy settings do not make things actually “private.” Once content including photos is shared, it is impossible to delete or remove it completely. Be sure your teens know that sex offenders often use social networking, chat rooms, e-mail and online gaming to contact and exploit children.

The reality for adults is that social media is constantly evolving and is here to stay in many forms. The best defense that parents have is to learn as much as possible about the platforms children use and to stay alert to signs that social media is affecting children in unhealthy ways.

There is help available. For general social media use guidelines as well as help for more serious concerns, look over the websites about internet safety we’ve put together. Visit hendersoncountync.org/health and click on the Community Interest tab on the left.

Has social media become the other parent in kids’ lives? It doesn’t have to be. I like what Common Sense Media states in Ten Beliefs: We believe in teaching our kids to be savvy, respectful and responsible media users. We can’t cover their eyes, but we can teach them to see.

Kim Horton is the communications manager for the Henderson County Department of Public Health. She can be reached at khorton@hendersoncountync.gov.

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